As much as we appreciate a special bird for its sacrifice for our holiday meals, the term “turkeys” has always been associated with things that fail, no matter how hard they try.
We love to eat them, but we don’t have any qualms tying them the worst of any discussion, which, in this case, is all about television.
So while you’re giving props to the bird on your table, let’s talk turkey in another way with the awful programming we’re calling TV’s Biggest Turkeys.
Coffee & Kareem – Netflix
This Netflix movie heralded a cast including the likes of Ed Helm and Taraji P. Henson. It should’ve been funny, or at least made the viewer smile.
However, it was unnecessarily explicit and profane with an obnoxious, foul-mouthed 12-year-old, a dopey police officer, and a tired retreaded buddy cop attempt that skirted along the lines of racist AF. It wasn’t just bad, it was obnoxiously bad, but worst yet, unfunny.
Tyler Perry’s A Fall From Grace – Netflix
Both Netflix and Tyler Perry are none for success, and Tyler Perry’s A Fall From Grace was no exception. Unfortunately, it was for all the wrong reasons.
The film wasn’t just bad, it was hilariously bad which made it a must-see in its own way. Social media platforms like Twitter had a field day roasting the poor acting, laughingly terrible hairpieces, and two-bit soap opera plot.
Saved by the Bell – Peacock
We know it’s new, but what the heck were they thinking with this series?
They managed to bring back some of the original stars, and brought made the series a self-aware satire set at Bayside High.
It pales in comparison to the original, and features the most one-dimensional and self-absorbed characters on TV.
Soulmates – AMC
Oh, 2020 and it’s neverending heaps of Suck. Love and the concept of soulmates weren’t spared from 2020’s chaotic evil go at being the ultimate villain.
Soulmates sounded so good, the concept had so much potential as folks in the distant future, committed, single, or in entanglements, took a test to determine their soulmate in life.
But happiness eluded pretty much anyone who jumped on this bandwagon, ruining marriages, families, and so much more. It never went anywhere remotely interesting despite decent actors.
We didn’t spend enough time with any of the characters. Yeah, no, some of us will happily stay single, thanks.
Pandora – The CW
The CW’s attempt at a sci-fi adventure-drama sexy-soap somehow scored a second season and although there’s something to be said for owning their own ridiculousness, it has become increasingly hard to give them the benefit of the doubt in terms of baseline intelligence.
Excusing the effect gaffs and costuming meh-ness as budgetary restraint issues, the season’s long arc has been repeatedly sidetracked by needless flashbacks to personal trauma, gratuitous vanity scenes, and, most recently, an unexplainable spontaneous pregnancy.
This is a turkey of a schedule filler of the highest degree and deserves to get stuffed for all the times it presented potentially interesting elements only to squander it in sensational and meaningless plot holes.
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels – Showtime
was a television turkey so disappointing that even being stuffed with the talents of Nathan Lane and Natalie Dormer couldn’t save it. It was such a travesty of wasted potential that the gravy of its sumptuous 1930s Los Angeles set and costuming couldn’t make it palatable.
It was over-salted with illogical, unexplainable, over-reaching plot devices; riddled with the bitterness of pretentiousness; and spoiled with haphazard editing and disingenuous emotion. It literally molested young girls, martyred the mentally unstable, and terrorized the innocent.
This may be the season to pardon turkeys but, hand to heaven, this mess was so completely beyond redemption, we have no tears left to shed and it should all be buried deep and forgotten forever.
Dynasty – The CW
Who knew a reboot of one of the biggest primetime soaps ever would result in something so empty? In three seasons we’ve had three different actresses playing a Cristal, and three different actresses playing Alexis.
That alone is a huge cause for concern, but the biggest complaint was that the series never really took the characters out of the mansion.
Dynasty Season 3, however, brought in new locations, including a hotel, but failed to give the characters meaningful plots. Elizabeth Gillies is wasted on such a wretched series.
Party of Five – Freeform
Like Dynasty, Party of Five removed all of the aspects that made the original series a success. The plots did have heart, but the series would have been better served without the title of the previous series.
Ultimately, fans of the original bailed on the reboot and it was canceled after a single season.
Space Force – Netflix
A series filled with comedy greats such as Steve Carrell and Lisa Kudrow should have been a bigger success than this was.
The plot lacked laughs and the cast looked bored throughout the entire first season.
It’s obvious the series only got picked up for a second season to see if it would hit when The Office left Netflix for good.
Tommy – CBS
Edie Falco’s big TV comeback was a surprisingly dull affair.
Despite sticking with the whole series, we’re struggling to remember what actually happened. It was absurdly handled, and quickly canceled.
Probably for the best.
Insatiable – Netflix
On paper, Insatiable sounded like a hit, but the execution was terrible.
Immediately after the trailer debuted, the show was accused of body-shaming, and what did Netflix do in response?
Renewed it for an even worse second season. Thankfully, the show has now been canceled, but still, it was bad.
9-1-1: Lone Star – FOX
As a spinoff of the wildy addictive 9-1-1, Lone Star was pretty terrible.
Many of the characters had promise, but they were dumbed down by poor storytelling. The actors looked bored during the episodes, and it’s a real shame.
Hopefully, the series gets a jolt of life in its second season.